March 31, 2011

Max's first

Max Henry's first birthday.  A whole year since his arrival, the day on which my life changed again, and for the better.  The day on which I discovered that giving birth could be that magical experience, as he came into the world with such ease (and a little help).  The day on which my Oliver became a big brother and couldn't possibly have predicted how that would make him feel and be - and I still can't.  The day on which smiles, squeaks and squeals of delight in my days became more frequent than I could have imagined.  The day on which our indecision became all the more apparent as we tried and failed to agree on the name that would be right for him.  The day on which my life got way harder, the challenges became way tougher, the rewards became unbelievably joyous.  The day on which I held him in my arms for the first time, a little, loving, cuddly being that I had grown in my belly for nine incredible months. The day on which I contemplated that my family might now be complete.

It changes your life, it does.  You can't imagine how until it happens.  This last year of joy, tears, exhaustion, endless chores, stories, art, haircuts, crawling, new words, sentences, bossiness, confidence, interaction, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding... it is with a sweet melancholy that I reflect on the passing of this incredible time of raising babies as they grow into little people.  One day they will be grown up and might be parents themselves and maybe then, just maybe they will begin to understand the heartache and pride I feel when they reach out for me, their mama who will always be there for them.

Happy birthday, darling Max.

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