all consuming

Sometimes, I'm filled with an all consuming worry about the days ahead.  I find it difficult to accept that whatever will be is mostly beyond my control and I shouldn't let it affect today.  For the duration of my pregnancy, I've tried to be positive and mostly I have achieved this, but every now and again a panic will overcome me about the health of my baby, about labour and childbirth, or about how we will cope with two so very young children.  

I do wish I could be the person that believes in herself enough and those around her to know that whatever does happen tomorrow will be what we have been dealt in life and whether it is a blessing or a challenge, one way or another, we will cope.

anticipation...

This week was my last at work for little while.  Rather tidily, my travel card had just enough credit for my last train journey and I finished a novel that I've been reading on the train journey to and from work for the last few weeks.  I'm nervous and excited with anticipation for the birth of Oliver's brother or sister - in a month, things will be very different.

We are trying slowly to organise our home to prepare for the big change.  I'm hoping to get through some of the more practical aspects in the next few days so I can concentrate on some more creative projects.  I'd like to paint a picture for the baby's room, as I did for Oliver, and set up some pretty, soft lighting in the nursery.  And for Ollie, I'd like to make a sun hat using this pattern from the The Purl Bee as a starting point.  I'll need to adjust the size and I'd like to use different colours, something bolder, maybe.

And then of course, there's the list of things I want to achieve before baby arrives... but most of all, I want to be rested and relaxed for the big arrival so that I can once again, savour being mama to a newborn baby.

virtue and moir

Since I was a little girl, I've loved watching figure skating.  (I'm pretty sure it's the reason I think the Winter Olympics are so much better than the regular Olympics!)

I find pairs skating particularly impressive and lately, I'm digging Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the Canadian champions.  They are such a striking couple, their costumes are so understated but beautiful, a far cry from the spangle we've come to expect from ice skating.  I've been loving watching all the clips I can find of Virtue and Moir, but this one is my favourite.  I especially love the music (the title theme from the film The Umbrellas of Cherbourg) and Tessa Virtue is so very pretty too.

What a shame the Winter Olympics will be over in a couple of days; I feel like I've watched hardly any of the coverage.

(Photos from here)

nesting

(Image via Smaller, photography by Grant Cornett)
I know my urge should be to nest, but at this moment I would really love to get away with my family for a few days to somewhere where the weather is cooling, autumn is setting in, the view is of lavender fields and the sun is low in the sky. 

moon

We've always enjoyed watching a good film but since Ollie was born, our trips to the cinema have been few and far between.  In fact we've only been once in the last two years.  So, I keep a list (another list) of the movies that we'd like to watch when they are available to rent, usually influenced by Margaret and David (At the Movies) and trailers we see.  So, rather than turning up to the video store and wondering where to start, the list means we usually come away with a film we actually want to watch.  (And don't get me started on how useful this is on $1 Tuesdays.)

One movie which only recently made it onto the list is Moon, and I thought it fitting to share this with you after Ollie's lunar discovery of the weekend.  We watched it this evening (it's $1 Tuesday).  Not entirely what I was expecting, it was a reasonably short, well paced, intriguing story. There were a few things that didn't entirely make sense to me, but I liked it. I like Sam Rockwell. I'm really not very good at reviewing things.  7/10.

thought for the day

Time

Time is certainly a great healer.
I grazed my knee when I was six
And now it's fine.

By Oliver Minkley

small steps and giant leaps

Today, Oliver came to the realisation that his beloved moon, the moon that he loves to point at in any book we read to him, really does exist in the sky.  I can't explain how heart-achingly amazing it was to see this happen, to watch him point to the evening sky and sit mesmerised on our front deck with his arm aloft, pointing to the white crescent that he'd previously only imagined existed in his favourite stories, but it was truly a great moment.

In the last few days, and after an unsettled and somewhat difficult week last week, Ollie seems to have changed, to have matured.  I wonder whether the impatient little boy of last week was pre-empting this change, or perhaps I'm seeing something where there's nothing, and tomorrow will be hard work again, but it both breaks and warms my heart to see that my little boy is growing up.

choc banana triumph

I love to bake.  I love to eat.  I love to bake and eat chocolate banana bread.
(Recipe from 'bill's food' by Bill Granger)

another first

Ollie reached other milestone today.  Rather, we decided it was about time for his first haircut.  We'd been pondering this for some time now, but been reluctant; his wild, beautiful, chestnut hair suited his sometimes unpredictable personality and had grown into gorgeous, soft blonde wisps and curls that I knew we'd lose with a haircut.

I thought about cutting it myself, but wasn't sure I could do a good job and Ollie doesn't sit still at the best of times, so we left it to the professionals.  Not sure where to take Ollie for this memorable occasion, I thought a good option would be the Aqua Retreat in Graceville, a cute little salon just round the corner that I knew would be baby-friendly as it offers a childminding service in a supervised creche.  So with trepidation I booked an appointment for his first haircut.

We took in a photo of Ollie from a few months ago, when we thought his hair was the perfect length and Athena (Ollie's stylist!) did a great job of replicating it.  Moreover, our little boy was brilliant and distracted by a toy from the creche, he sat as still as he could on his pa's lap. Thirty minutes later, he emerged a smart little boy and I'm convinced that hair cut aside he seems different somehow, more knowing maybe. And while I had my reservations before this morning, and despite my secret plan to let Ollie's hair grow long and beautiful forever, I guess his first hair cut had to happen eventually.

muffins

I went grocery shopping today and wasn't particularly diligent in checking what was in the fridge beforehand.  So I got home to find I had accumulated 9 courgettes, 30 eggs and over a kilo of cheddar cheese.  Fortunately, Ollie loves courgettes, eggs and cheese, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem, but I decided anyway to make cheese and courgette muffins.  I love a savoury muffin, especially one which uses up ingredients which have no other immediate use, and these were so easy to make.  They turned out reasonably well - a good, cheesy flavour and quite a satisfying lunch.

Next on the cooking agenda, using up the 'accidental' over purchase of bananas.  (Chocolate banana bread, here I come.)