overheard

O: (blinking really fast) Mum, would you look at my eyes!  They're going mental with all the opening and closing!  Mum, did you hear me, I said, they're going MENTAL!

O: (playing with his Lego figures) You! You're a bad criminal.  You did a poo in your pants!  I'm going to drag you to jail.  Oh, you really impressed me, you did a poo on the toilet.  WELL DONE!

Me:  Ollie, it's almost time for a sleep

O:  But I don't want to go to sleep, I want to keep playing

Me:  Well alright, you can play for another couple of minutes, but then we'll read a story and go to bed

O:  But I want to play for THIS MANY minutes, for LOTS of minutes

Me: OK.  How many minutes do you want to play for?

O: (pauses...) Four

O:  I want to hug the baby
Me:  OK
O:  (hugging my growing belly and patting it gently)  The baby has to grow a lot before we can meet him.  (...pause...) Hello baby, what are you doing? and then the baby says "I'm moving around... I'm moving towards mama's mouth because I have to pop out one day" (!!)

O: (to Max, as they were playing rather nicely together and with their big garbage truck) Excuse me... excuse me, MY DEAR!

Me: (after watching Ollie finish every bit of his mustard and tarragon chicken dinner) Well done, Ollie, you ate a good meal there.
O:  (somewhat confused by the mustard in his dinner)  Now I can have my crumble and mustard (he meant crumble and custard)

Will: (reading to the boys) "And then he climbed all the way to the top of the tallest of trees!"
O:  I'd like to do that
Will:  Really?  You'd climb to the top of the tallest of trees?
O:  (pause) I'd climb to a smaller one.

Me:  OK Ollie, it's time to go inside soon, just another 10 minutes of playing in the garden and we'll go inside for a nap
O:  I want to play for FIVE minutes!

Me:  Ollie, do you need to use the toilet?
O:  No
Me:  Then please stop fiddling with your underpants
O:  But I'm just trying to sort out my wing-wang, it's going mental!

Me:  (while Ollie was playing with his Lego at the dinner table rather than eating his dinner) Some of us at the table are eating our dinner, Ollie.
O:  Not me!

Me:  Night night Max.  Can you say 'night night'?
M: Na na
Me:  I love you, buddy.  Can you say 'I love you'?
M:  Na na
Me:  But can you say 'I love you'?
M: COOKIE!