May 20, 2011

forwards... and backwards

It's been a busy couple of weeks.  Actually it feels as though we have never had more to do in such little time.  That's an exaggeration, but we are in the throws of working out where and how we will spend the rest of our lives and it seems (to me at least) to be all consuming, seeping into every moment that isn't spent just living, making us feel even busier than we are.

It doesn't help that my job, the one that pays the bills, the one that I've been doing now for over 12 years is getting me down.  I can't reconcile what I do with what I want to do and constantly thinking about it is exhausting.  My creative bones are aching, but I'm feeling stifled by lack of time, imagination and space.  Our house feels so claustrophobic, toys, clutter everywhere, there's always groceries to put away, clothes to fold, benches to wipe down before I can sit and just think about sewing, painting, drawing, even wrapping a gift more artfully than I invariably do.  I have never enjoyed living like this, preferring instead to see things in their place and neatly ordered.  If I know there's a drawer full of crap, it often irks me to the point of having to clear it out before I can stop thinking about it.  No wonder I never get anything done.

But I digress.  I wanted to write about Ollie, who's gone jigsaw puzzle mad.  I don't want this blog to become a brag of everything my kids can do but I think it's a new mum's entitlement to voice her wonderment every now and again.  After the success of the 24 piecer I wrote about, we bought this little duo of puzzles for him a week or two ago, and it is amazing to watch him sort through the 40 pieces into two piles of very similar looking 2" square bits before the first is done in a matter of minutes and he's saying 'time to do the other puzzle now'.  Crazy.  On the other hand, potty training has taken a complete nosedive and I can't remember the last day where there were no accidents or even when Ollie told me he needed to use the potty.  I don't know what to do about this, since we started so well I thought we were done - poos and all.  But not anymore.  Even reverting back to treats for success doesn't seem to be working.  It is so hard not to get cross with him (and I know it doesn't help) but we've tried regularly asking him whether he wants to go, not asking him and letting him take the lead, and just taking him to the potty every so often but nothing seems to be working.  Anyone else might be happy to just go with the flow (so to speak) but for someone who craves order in her life, this hugely frustrating.  I mean, the kid can work out what to do with 40 jigsaw pieces but can't tell me when he needs to pee?  Come on!

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